Let’s Talk About Good Dates

Let’s be real—what actually makes a date good? In this episode, I talk about my own experiences, what I’ve learned, and the small details that can make or break a date. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to Living Out Loud with Beth.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Here we talk life, love, food and desserts, faith, health, books, and whatever else comes up. No script, no stress, just me. So join me in Living Out Loud and Laughing Out Loud. Hey you guys, welcome back to another episode. This episode will be about the meaning of a good date. So how did we like growing up, how did we know what a good date was? And then obviously, you know, as you continue growing and going on dates and everything, you start to know what you like, what you don't like. But like, how was that first date? You know, like when you like the guy and the guy like you, how did you guys decide what date to go on? Um, obviously it also depends on like what age you were when you started going on dates. But I feel like, you know, I think most people started around like let's say high school. I don't know. Um, we didn't really have an idea of what a good date was, right? We just had an idea of I just want to go to a place where I'm just it's just gonna be me and this person, and you know, we're getting to know each other and everything, but you don't know if that's like, is this a good place to take this person? Is this a good place to get to know each other? Right? Like, so how did we know what date like was a good date? Um, so yeah, so like in high school, I feel like the main place um that like people would go to for their dates would be the movies, which in high school, like we're not really working or we're working in little part-time jobs, like it's not like we all have money to blow on you know bigger dates and stuff. So I feel like the movies was like a simple casual date, but like I get the idea of wanting to watch a movie with somebody, but even till this day, I'm still like not a huge fan of movies as like at least the first date. I love going to movies, but for the first date specifically, I don't know that it's like the best first date, you know, because like you can't really get to know the person at the movies, like maybe go do an activity first um to get to know each other a little bit more, like in person, get to know each other's vibe more, um, and then go to the movies after. But you know, to start off at the movies, like that's so weird. Like, imagine like you have a crush on this guy, he has a crush on you. You guys don't really know each other, but he asked you out, and you guys go to the movies, and you're now you're just sitting in silence. Like, it's just is that not weird? Um listen, I'm not if your if the movies was like your first date with like your person and stuff like that, listen, that's totally fine. I'm not saying that it's the wrong thing to do. I just think it's like, like, how do you do it? You know, like how do you get to know the person? Um, obviously until like after the movie and stuff. I mean, unless you're like looking at little things, like you're looking at like what are they ordering at the movies? Do they talk a lot during the movie? Do they stay silent? Um, yeah, I don't know. But for me, the movies isn't a great first date. Um, but I mean, now obviously, like with the person that I'm dating, with the person that you guys are dating, like I think going to movies is is great. I love going to the movies because like by then you already know the person, right? So it's not like you need to sit there and talk the entire time. Um, even though I've been told that like I make little comments during movies, which I mean I guess, but like I can't help myself. Anyways, so yeah, so back to like what is a good date. Um, I feel like I've had like, you know, over the years, like I've had a variety of like pretty decent dates. Um, I don't know if I have like a favorite, favorite date, or maybe I just can't like remember because I'm not gonna sit here and try to list all the dates that I've ever been on, like, you know, the places that I've been to. I mean. Um, so yeah, like I just have like I have a few that I know off the top of my head. So, like you guys know I'm a big foodie. So anything that has to do with food, or actually that's a requirement for me. A date always has to involve food, not just food. So it's not like, oh, we should just go to this restaurant and that's it, the day is over. But like maybe go do an activity, then get food after, or get food first and then go do an activity, and then maybe get dessert after. Um, so whether it's like a new place that we're gonna go try out or a place that we have been to plenty of times, regardless. I just I I need food. And then also like when you're at like when you're eating, like let's say it is a first date or whatever, like you can also see how they um like how they eat. Like, do they chew with their mouth open? Do they have like etiquette? Like, do you know, like just like little things? Um, because I know like some people like they probably don't like if you chew super, super, super loud. They probably don't like if you chew with your mouth open or you chew, like you talk and you talk and eat, like you talk and chew at the same time. I mean, obviously you can talk and chew at the same time, right? But like, are you talking and chewing and it's like I can see the food in your mouth? Like, that's it. Um, so yeah. Um, and let's see. So other dates that's not food related, I'd say things like like okay, skating, uh, the the regular thing is like bowling, putt-putt golf, or like top golf, um museums, axe throwing, rage rooms, comedy shows, like those, I I've enjoyed those type of dates. Um, and I also, I don't know, because I love to be at home too, I like I enjoy having a date at home as well. So like we can say, oh, let's order a pizza and we're going to dedicate this night to watch this movie. Um, or let's order a pizza and what's it called? Uh play card games. Um, or I don't know, just like like just little things like that. Like, oh, like doing a puzzle together. Um, we've done that. Uh well, we did that like it was a few months ago. The card games we did, was it maybe like a month or two months ago? I bought this game on TikTok shop. Listen, TikTok shop can take my money. Um, they just have so many different things on there, but anyways, so yeah, so I found this like card game like for couples that you can do just to like there's a variety of like serious questions, but then there's like the funny questions, there's the little dares and stuff, like just nights like that are the best, you know? Um, and then there's also like things like painting. We haven't done that yet, but I want to do that thing on TikTok where um you like paint your spouse and like show your spouse the painting. So I think things like those things are so so nice, right? Like you don't have to go out and spend a whole bunch of money and call it a date, you can do something in the house and still consider it a date. Um, I'm the type of girl where we can call a date, like um, let's go pick up food from a drive-thru or something and sit in the car and talk. That is a date to me. Like, I feel like, I mean, you know, I don't have kids or anything yet, but I feel like those are the types of dates that like when you do have kids, um, like when you become married and you have kids, like those are probably the types of dates that people like, you know, parents probably appreciate. Like just little things to get away from, like, just from like the kids just have a little bit of alone time and stuff. So I'm happy that I actually enjoy those things now. Um, so that it doesn't feel like in the future I'm just settling to just have a little date in the car. Um, I just actually enjoy them, you know? Yeah, I enjoy like a variety of dates. I again, I don't necessarily think a date needs to be super expensive for me to call it a date or for me to say that it was my favorite date. I like a mix of, let's say, thoughtful dates, interactive, like activity dates, spontaneous dates, the laid-back ones. Um, but of course, you know, always starts and ends with food or and dessert. Um, but yeah, like just, I don't know. Like, I think I think also what really makes the date is the person that you're with as well, you know. Um, when you are in like dating, like trying to find somebody and stuff, like I think something to look for is like that vibe where you don't want to go home. Like you want the date to continue. You want to like let's say you guys already ate, you guys already did the activity. Like, you want to just sit either inside the car or outside the car and just talk. Because again, you don't want to go home. Like, yeah, you can, you know, you can plan the next date, but still, like the fact that like you have to now get in your car and drive away sucks. Like that idea, like, I think that's when you really found like a good person, but also know that you had a really, really good date. The dates where you're like trying to like find any excuse to go home, or like you tell your friends or your siblings, like, oh hey, like by this time, like text me, or no, if I text you like SOS, like I need you to call me, and you actually text the person SOS, like that's obviously a bad date, right? So, like, if you find, um I don't know if you guys can hear in the background, my dog is eating because of course she decides that she wants to eat while I'm recording, but you know, it's my princess, so um, but yeah, so like it just the person makes the date, like it's not necessarily what you're doing. Yes, what you're doing is fun, it'll be nice, it'll be cute, it'll be this or whatever, but it's also it's just the person that you're with. Um yeah, so I also okay, so I'm gonna give you guys a little story about my first, like my first and second date with uh my boyfriend. So we scheduled for a date for a Sunday. Um, but I think that Saturday we were both like, oh, like we're actually available right now. So we ended up doing like a planning last minute to go on our first official date, even though the Sunday date it was and was our first official date. We planned like um a pre a pre-date or something like that. Like, kind of like, oh, let's like do something quick to like meet in person, just kind of like get the nerves like out of the way, and then Sunday we can really enjoy our date because we don't have to be nervous because we already saw each other in person. Um, so we we went to a boba place for our first like the little pre-date that was like because we both love boba, and we went to a boba place and it was really nice, it was really cute, little cute little place. Um, and again, see doesn't have to be super extravagant, right? And oh my gosh, you guys, I had, I remember we were on the phone, we were already like he basically already started becoming my best friend before we even had our first date. Um, we literally were like on the phone, just talking on our way to the date. Um, and like I made like a comment like that I had a headache, and you know, but of course I was just gonna push through it like and go on this date. Like I was already driving to the date, and I was like, Yeah, I have a headache or whatever, but I was like, Oh, I'm almost there. Um this man stopped, like I got to the place and I was like, Oh, like, where is he? Then he like pulled up and he got out of the car and he had Tylenol for me. He stopped at a store to get me Tylenol. Like, that was just it was just so so thoughtful. And that Tylenol lasted me so long, it was so funny, like years. Um, what was I saying? Oh, yes, okay. So the bulba date, it was so nice. Um, and then our second date, so that next day, which was our you know, that first official date, we went to an art museum. That was it was really, really nice. I I don't think I've ever been, well, no, I hadn't I hadn't been to that art museum before. Um, and after the art museum, we went and got lunch. So the date started like it was like morning, I believe, maybe like at 10 a.m. or something. Went to the art museum, then we went and got lunch after, and then we got ice cream. Like, we were just out for so long. So, guys, like the date ended at night, like it was evening when we were done talking, like when we were done with like um the art museum lunch, ice cream, like everything. So, like it was already that date where like we did not want to go home. It was yeah, it was such a great date. We're actually planning on um going to the place that we went to for lunch. We're planning on going there again this year, later on this year. Um, because you know, I thought that'd be cute. But yeah, like it was a really, really nice day. I mean, obviously, because you know, here we are years later. Um yeah, so I've had some good dates as far as like the places, the things that we, you know, the things that we did, like where we went or whatever. Um, but yeah, like I don't know. I I'm trying to like think through how I knew what a good date was. So, like all those dates, like, you know, doing okay, like if we went to axe throwing or we went here, we went there, like how did we know? How did I know? Like, yeah, I like this date, or yeah, no, I wouldn't like this date, or whatever. Like, I don't know at what point I realized, like, okay, maybe it's not just about the date, but it's the person that you're going on a date with. Ooh, so there's like two specific dates that I like I have in mind. Like, we have like a list of things that we want to do. Um, but the two that come to mind right now, uh, fishing, which is crazy because I feel like people that know me would be like, What? You want to go fishing? I mean, yeah, I want to try it. Like, I know I'm going to freak out if I actually catch a fish or the person next to me catches a fish. And like, like, if you try to tell me to hold it, it will probably end it back in the water. Um, yeah, I'd be scared, but I do want to try it. And then um, what's the other one? Ooh, like a picnic. So I think picnics are beautiful. I don't do bugs though. So I'm like, where can we go to have a picnic where we don't have to deal with bugs? Like, yeah, we're gonna put the little blanket and stuff on the on the ground, but like stuff can still crawl on the blanket and call crawl on me or crawl in our food, you know? Like, I just I don't know. I think through these little things, but like maybe just like have um, I have a friend though, like she actually does, yeah, she does like cute little setup things, like picnic setups. So maybe we can have her like help us get it set up and like I could ask her for like some extra layer of protection from bugs or something. I don't know, but yeah, so those are definitely like the two dates that I'm like excited for at some point. I think we can probably do that this year because summertime. So I mean, I don't know when fishing season or whatever is. Um, yeah. Oh, okay. I just thought of something. Um, I'm completely all over the place. I apologize. But I a date that I I know for a fact is it's not a good date, is if the person is late. If you plan this or you like told me the time, you asked me a time, and you know, we decided on the time, and you show up like, you know, crazy late. I don't know, like, you know, you you have to give people grace, right? But like, what is your grace period? Like, I think past 15 minutes is is a bit much, but I probably would say, like, whatever, like, I'll still stay and wait to see when they show up. But if I'm waiting like more than 30 minutes, that's a bit ridiculous. Like, unless like you're coming from far away and you got caught in traffic or whatever. But like, if we live right here, we decided on this time, and you tell me, like, let's say, like, I'm like, oh yeah, like I just got here, you're telling me that you're just leaving your house, like that's a little bit frustrating, you know. Like that to me, I'm like that already kind of sets the mood for the date. Um, because now I'm thinking, okay, so basically you don't do well with time. Great. Um, yeah. I don't know. Hopefully, this wasn't, I know this was a little bit all over the place. And I, you know, I I obviously am in a relationship. I'm just giving you guys like my experience with like just dates in general, like over like my period, like in my life. Um, and then like some of the dates were specific to my boyfriend and I. Um, and you know, honestly, I think this podcast this episode is like fine for whether you're in a relationship or not. Like, at some point, pretty much, I'm pretty sure everyone has been on a date in their life. So, you know, like how did you how did you know if you felt like, wow, that was a good date? Or no, I didn't really care for that date. Like, if a guy asks you out again, like, and he suggests a specific this one specific place, like, are you gonna be like, oh yeah, like that sounds good, or no, that doesn't sound good. Do you want to go to the movies as a first date? Um, are you okay with him being on time? Oh, wait, I just thought of something else. Flowers. What are your thoughts on flowers for at the first date? So I I don't know, I love flowers, but in my opinion, like, yes, it's nice that the person went and got you flowers, right? Um, it's romantic and all the things, but to me, I'm like, if we're having our first date, I don't necessarily want this person to try to do too much. Like, no, I I know getting flowers is not too much. It's not going above and beyond. Like, it's some people will say it's like the bare minimum or whatever. But like, I don't want to kind of, I don't want to have that expectation that they're going to get me flowers. Um, because then, like, let's say they get me the flowers for the first date, right? I'm going to think, okay, so this is something that they do, and then you continue dating the person and they don't give you flowers like moving forward. So it's almost like they did the like they bought you the flowers that first date, like kind of like just to get you, just to be like, it was like a performance in a way. Like they just wanted to woo you, and then once they got you, they stopped doing the thing, you know? So for me, I'm like, eh, I don't really care for flowers on the first date throughout, like, throughout the dating, you know, and like when you get in a relationship and everything, yes, flowers are nice because I feel like it's more meaningful because you know, he the person knows that I like flowers and like it means something to him to get it for me as well, versus you know, this person that we're we're just meeting for the first time and you're getting me flowers, um, because honestly, like they're probably just getting flowers for every date that they're getting they're going on, hoping that one of these dates stick, you know, but okay, sorry. Well, I think that's it for this episode. Um, if you guys have any topic suggestions, please let me know in the comment sections of uh the Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, wherever you're listening. Um, but yeah, and I promise I'm going to get like guests and stuff soon. Um, but yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Have a good day. Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

That's it for today's episode of Living Out Loud with Beth. Thanks for hanging out with me. Until next time, keep living out loud and laughing out loud.